Great expectations (From Western Telegraph)

Great expectations

In part two of her teenage pregnancy feature, Natalie Budge tackles the possible reasons why there is such a high number of teenage parents in Pembrokeshire. Who should take responsibility? The parents or the children? The teachers or the government? Why does nobody have the answer?

As I was a teenage mother myself I know that there are many different reasons why girls fall pregnant.

I think one of the main reasons why young girls choose to get pregnant - and I use the word choose because there are so many forms of contraception and not a lot of excuses - is because they have low self esteem and perhaps look forward to the attention they will receive from their peers. Whether it is positive or negative probably doesnt even come into it.

Yes, I know that there are some genuine reasons for falling pregnant, but most cant say it was an accident.

As soon as you have your first sexual experience, or even before, you should be using some form of contraception. If you are not capable of taking the contraceptive pill every day to prevent getting pregnant then you arent mature enough to have sex. You shouldnt expect the boy to take full responsibility for contraception. It is your body that will be affected, not his, and more than likely your life, not his.

Although it is a boys responsibility to protect against sexually transmitted disease, it is the girls responsibility to make sure that he does and if he doesnt, then dont have sex.

Statistics have proved that most teenage mothers end up being single mums because their babies fathers dont stick around, although there are some cases where this isnt true.

I think it is the parents responsibility to be as approachable as possible when it comes to their children wanting to talk about sex. They should be the ones to approach the children, before they hear things from their friends. Being able to talk comfortably about such an important issue could be the key to preventing a situation arising. Children need to be aware of all the aspects of a sexual relationship, because being aware can offer choices. There are a number of issues that need to be looked at by different members of the community. Recently, I went along to a Lone Parent and Pregnancy workshop in Tasker Milward School - my former school. The workshop, for young people and by young people, was put on by the Bee-Lines Peer Education Group. It is used as a way to teach young people of the consequences of falling pregnant. It was designed and run by Erica Eaton - a 20-year-old mum, who wanted to share her experiences with others.

The workshop came complete with a reality baby called William and an empathy belly. Pupils would be given William, along with a key which they put in his back when he cried to let him know they were there. They then had to find out what the baby wanted by trying to feed him, wind him, change his nappy or just giving him a cuddle. The baby is designed to show young people how hard it is to look after a child and the commitment that is needed. William cried about ten times in 20 minutes. Although the girls found it funny to see people wearing the empathy belly, it is actually a realistic way to reproduce the physical effects of being pregnant.

It consisted of a sack filled with warm water and a weight, which represents the tummy. Another bag filled with sand is placed against the bladder to act as the babys head, two seven pound balls simulate the baby moving and a thick consticter belt is strapped tightly to the chest area to help you breathe the same way as a pregnant woman. Something that really shocked me was some of the opinions voiced by the girls on teenage pregnancies. Many said it is the boys responsibility to stop you from getting pregnant. Some also felt there was no way that a young girl can go to work and look after a baby. Many said they wouldnt put their child in childcare. They also seem to think they would be able to live off benefits and the money they would get from the father. Do they know that it depends on how much he earns? Starting in April, if a non-dependent parent earns less than £100 a week you will only receive £5.

My reaction to their views just highlighted for me just how much I have changed since having a baby. If you think you want a baby at a young age, then go ahead and try it! If you think you wouldnt struggle with money, go ahead and try it! If you think your life wont change, then go ahead and try it! If you think any of these statements are true, then youre just not thinking at all.

I dont want my opinion to come across as harsh or heartless in any way. In the first part of this feature I wanted to encourage people who have found themselves in the same situation as me. In this part I am trying to reach the people who can prevent this from happening. Maybe these people and young girls will benefit from a slightly different perspective. My message is this: Dont go through life just willing to survive. Get out there and live!