Solving my rat problem (From Western Telegraph)

Solving my rat problem

5:05pm Friday 19th June 2009

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SOLVING MY RAT PROBLEM Yesterday I was writing about Trust Fund Rats and came across a problem. I was unable to find a picture of one which was fat and lethargic. I am referring here, of course, to rattus in his various forms and not to Trust Fund Rats (human variety) where the examples of obesity are many and often tragic in their shapes and miseries.

Rattus rattus is the infamous host and carrier of bubonic plague. Weil’s Disease, also harboured in rats (which may be caught bathing in canals or rivers) is caused by infection and excreted in their urine. So you don’t want them around.

As it happens the rat population exceeds that of humans in many places and they live a luxury lifestyle. High quality food, the remains of take-aways, rich pickings from bins: their vitamins and minerals, and varied nutrition, far exceeds that of many people.

The solution to my rat picture problem (an altogether more benign concern) lay with Pongo a white rat remembered with affection by my children. He was one of a pair which belonged to my daughter, Roz. Pongo, although the nearest to a trust fund rat that I could find, looks neither very fat nor idle.

He aroused memories of our children's childhood where we were surrounded by animals and eventually acquired a Pets' Cemetery. The death rate of pet and wild rats was high as the attentions of our cats tended to focus more on their stomachs. Each animal lay under a small white cross with its name, which started to present the kind of space problems reflected in human graveyards. Even the length of the burial ceremonies was becoming a problem.

Overnight there have been various comments from our family about rats and cats. "Fancy Pongo reappearing after all this time," says my daughter.

A pair of black Burmese Cross cats living in Brighton have set new standards in the speed and numbers of lethal despatch. "If it’s rats (especially deaduns) you is after - Pelle da boy," wrote our son with this picture. Indeed, this pair – Måns and Pelle by name – are sudden death to any rat within range of their claws.

Think Clint Eastwood as a fast gun in A Fistful of Dollars or Pale Rider and, compared to the speed and reflexes of this pair of sinuous killers, “He would be dead before his gun cleared his holster.”