Victim or Victor?

Victim or Victor?

There are genuine victims in life. For example, people who have been on the receiving end of the unscrupulous or criminal behaviour of another person.

Then there are natural disasters such as famines; plagues and floods to which some people fall victim– although whether the actions of humans have any real impact on these sorts of events is debateable… Then there are victims of mass man- made actions such as wars, including the brave soldiers who lose their lives in the name of duty.

Then there are those people who suffer as a result of a voluntary undertaking – they become a victim of their own scheming.

However instances of victim-hood are usually one off events; and just because you have been the victim in a single experience doesn’t necessarily cast you in the role of victim for the rest of your life.

Unless, of course, you want it to.

Victim -hood is essentially a state of mind –the default setting, or habitual thinking of a person who interprets all or many of life’s situations through a negative, disempowering lens.

In some instances this way of thinking is so ingrained that people cannot contemplate thinking or feeling in any other way.

However, there is an antidote!

It calls for a radical new way of thinking – a positive, self-empowering mode in which you accept responsibility for all the occurrences in your life – despite their origins. We can’t always choose what happens to us – the consequences of the actions of others -yet we can always choose how we respond to the situation.

And the cop out is to blame someone else.

And to never move on from that point.

The first step in taking control of your own situation is to accept the here and now – exactly as it is.

This doesn’t mean you have to like it. – just to objectively see it as it is.

Then it’s important to identify what exactly it is that you can realistically do to change things.

Once you shift your thoughts away from blaming other people and concentrate your efforts on doing something to improve things for yourself, you lose the victim-hood and don the cloak of empowerment.

After all , the only person in life you are ever going to assume full control over is yourself!

So when you’re feeling a little sorry for yourself (we’ve all had those days!) take the power into your own hands and do something positive to make things better for yourself.

Choose to see yourself as succeeding.

Be the victor, no longer the victim.

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Helen Noble aka The Juggler is a mother of 3, living and working in Pembrokeshire. Having previously lived in other parts of Wales and the UK she has settled here with her family and continues with her balancing act. Helen has worked in psychology and law and believes that if you can see the problem clearly then the solution is firmly within your grasp. However, she knows how tricky it is to keep all the balls in the air at the same time and is up for sharing ideas and offering suggestions to help.

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